vertical brain rot

Still just cannot get on-board with vertical video

Vertical video trumped traditional video ages ago in terms of engagement. In 2025, stats suggest it’s 2.5 times as popular as its predecessor.

I remember the transition about half-a-decade back. Snapchat randomly had a big resurgence and ByteDance was absorbed into the monster that is TikTok.

At the time I felt a natural aversion vertical video becoming mainstream, and not just because its primary type of content involved lip syncing or dancing, or dancing while lip syncing.

Cut to the present day and the content buffet has expanded to include doorbell cam footage of builders falling off ladders, podcast snippets, skits, movie trailers, and everything in-between. One bloke got banned for shagging different types of pasta a couple years ago.

The clever algorithms of Reels and TikTok note what people engage with or linger on, and spam an infinitely updating library of stuff from the same wheelhouse. What’s not to like then?

In my opinion, exactly that. While I don’t have any massive qualms with short-form content as a medium, it’s the premise of endlessly scrolling and consuming at such a rapid pace with no beginning or end. It’s the sheer aimlessness.

I’m as guilty as anyone for getting lost in YouTube rabbit holes, but there’s a discernible starting point when you load the app up and search something specific.

In the same vein, if you’re scrolling Twitter, you’re looking for live updates on things or people you follow. Generally, you’ll hit a wall fairly quickly and have to hop off before updates accumulate again.

On TikTok, meanwhile, the premise of scrolling endlessly with no goal other than ‘entertain me’ still feels as dystopic as when vertical video sprung to life in 2018-ish. I can’t wrap my head anyone finding the experience comforting, but millions do.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a handful of group chats where dumb reels circulate and on occasion I may indulge for a few minutes, but that’s my limit. I refuse to download TikTok, no matter how many links people – looking at you, Dad – drop in my WhatsApp.

It’s a tale as old as time that older generations will take an innate dislike to the hobbies of their youngers, but I witnessed first-hand the mainstream explosion of TikTok. I should, theoretically, be all over it.

On the contrary, I can’t bear to be in the same room as someone using the app. The incessant repetition of AI soundbites, TV samples, or song segments… excitable vox pops, hysterical out-of-context laughter, surface level observations from clout chasers… fear mongering or conspiracies – complete with eerie choir music – streamers screaming, Lily Phillips chatting crud. It’s all too much.

It’s like death by a thousand cuts. A wall of noise comprised of second-long, abrasive sounds and half-fleshed scenarios habitually skipped over and replaced by another trimmed moment at its fever pitch. I can almost feel my neck glands going up.

I’m fully aware I’m in the minority and the weird one, but I can’t deny the physical repulsion I have to these apps. Using them organically is arguably the most brain-rotting endeavour I’ve witnessed in my 30 years on Earth, and I’d sooner inhale second-hand smoke than sit alongside someone using them without headphones.

My daughter categorically will NOT have TikTok when she grows up. There’s no genuine creativity to be gleaned or inflaming of the imagination, it’s just dopamine and zombification. Charlie Brooker has his work cut out to make Black Mirror season 7 shocking.

That’s my 2 pence, anyway – about 5 years too late. No-one asked. I’ll stop complaining and sound off now.

---

PS: Don’t forget to check out Thred’s daily uploads on TikTok. Algorithm… algorithm… ALGORITHM!